Snoop,
Are you following the instructions to the letter, i.e. removing all dongles, connecting to the router by ethernet, powering up and leaving the unit for at least 20 minutes, then powering down again, before disconnecting from the router, reinserting your dongles (or at least the WiFi one) then powering up, reconnecting your tablet and only THEN - checking to see if any updates have appeared? If not it won't work!
If you have already updated to any software version newer than 20160820, the best and by far the quickest method to update is by USB stick - again just follow the instructions from Page 38 on in the Operating Instructions.
Regards
Peter